You may or may not have heard the Radiohead song, Fake Plastic Trees but tonight I have had the displeasurable experience of Fake Plastic Cheese.

Yes that’s right, I have decided once and for all, that cheese is not something on which anyone should compromise their standards.  It was one of those hasty, late night, decisions made in the grocery store aisle–a decision I knew I would regret but hoped would turn out differently than I feared.  But alas, my friends, as I pulled my much anticipated open-faced breakfast sandwich out of the broiler, I saw the evidence of my unwise culinary decision.

There it was, soft melt-in-your-mouth on the inside yet crispy on the outside ciabatta bread topped with a slightly spicy chicken and apple smoked sausage and swiss cheese.  Where I went wrong was settling for a generic, reduced fat, swiss cheese rather than refusing to compromise on anything less that the stunning Gruyere.  And the result was a tastless plasticy melted mess all over an otherwise delightful culinary creation.

So friends, learn a lesson from my mistakes: When it comes to food, while there     are some ingredients that can be altered or substituted, think twice before you mess with the cheese!